Happy National JoyGerm Day!

Saturday 01/08/11

Can we just talk about Justin for a moment? I don't think I've fully disclosed him yet. We were friends in grade school, but lost touch when he moved away. We've recently reconnected thru the Facebook & it feels like we picked up exactly where we left off. He lives a little over 2 hours away, but I've gone & visited him several times & we try to get together when he's visiting here. Mary, the one pushing me to pursue Jody, is a close mutual friend of both of ours.

I have a little bit of a thing for Justin & it's a bit complicated, for several reasons. First let me paint you a word picture. I can describe him to you using only four words: Young... Tall... Richard Simmons. Only Justin is actually (& surprisingly) straight, tho you'd assume the exact opposite about one minute into a conversation with him. Justin & I messed around once, but it didn't go that great. It's not awkward between us or anything, but he has no idea how I feel; & he's made it pretty clear that he has no romantic interest in me whatsoever. So of course I'm crazy about him.

Then he told me about a crush he had on a friend of his. He was confiding in me about it & actually asked me to help him "get" her & even suggested I testify to her about certain anatomical attributes he possesses. I decided i needed some space so I could clear my head & just get over it so I've been keeping my distance. So of course now he is blowing up my Facebook & constantly texting me. It's sending me mixed signals & confusing the heck outta me. It's probably just coming from his neediness and the fact that he needs constant reassurance in his life, but it makes me feel all "what iffy?".

I should also take a moment to mention Alex. Alex is Justin's roommate & before J & I had our moment, Alex & I had quite the passionate moment as well. That was an interesting night to say the least, especially seeing as I'd only known him for a few hours. In my defense, a lot of wine was involved. Plus I thought he was cute.

So now the reason for all this. Justin texted me today that he heard a song on the radio & thought of me. How romantic! I'm sorry, did I say romantic? I meant shitty. The song was Avril Lavigne's What The Hell. It starts out about how she's making out with her dude's friend & then goes into the chorus: All I want to do is mess around/ And I don't really care about/ If you love me, if you hate me. Wow.

Justin thought it was hilarious, but it definitely hurt me. I felt like just going home after work & taking it easy. But today is National JoyGerm day where, instead of hiding from germs, you're encouraged to spread one: Joy. So instead of hiding from my drama, I decided to shake it off, go out, & seek/spread some joy! My man-whore bestie, Symonds, wanted me to hang out with him and some of his out of town friends, but I felt more in need of a girls' night.

I decided to hit the town with my friend Shannon. Shannon is fabulous. Her family is such a mess that she & her mom were actually on Oprah back in the day! Which means Shannon is crazy & awesome & a ton of fun to hang out with. She's also hooking up with Symonds on the side. I started the night out with 3 vodka crans at a karaoke bar, then had a glass of Moscato at the Wine Loft (where we met up with Bestie & he used Shannon to make another girl jealous, which only made him that much more attractive to Shannon), & then it was off to the pub where I met Mike (& a Kentucky Bourbon Barrel, a pineapple upside down cake shot, & a Crispins). Mike was cute & while Shannon was in the bathroom he came over & started chatting with me.

We decided to head back to Shannon's place, stopping by my house so I could grab some more alcohol. (I also needed to take a moment to do a quickie shave of the upper thigh region - DRY!) Then we headed to Shannon's where I made us some drinks & we got cozy. & by cozy I mean I got bored with him & sent him packing after about an hour. Kinda felt bad for the guy as he went home with two girls & left empty handed. But I feel like I was just rebelling against Justin's idea of me & I'm truly not that kind of girl. I decided before I was to take such a dramatic turn in my life, I needed to sleep on it. Alone.